How do I know he’s THE ONE or ONE OF THE ONES?

It must feel right on a biological and on a spiritual level. Your bodies must speak their own language and the spiritual chemistry must be clicking.

By biological chemistry I mean that you just love the touch of the person, that it can both turn you on immensely and calm you down, that you desire the person like crazy and want to experience a sexual union (and when you do it is an amazing experience) but you also love just to hug him and hold his hand.

By spiritual chemistry I mean that you somehow understand each other on an “above five senses” level. That the person somehow knows what you want in a given moment without having to ask, that you see the world in a similar way, seem to have similar values and priorities and that your level of spirituality and intelligence is similar. I cannot imagine a practicing orthodox being with an atheist, the belief system must be similar. On the contrary, a girl coming from a catholic background but having worked out her own belief system can go along just great with a boy from a muslim background that has also done spiritual work himself and is not chained by cultural or religious impositions. They can go along just great because they have the same view of the world and are on a similar spiritual level.

The spiritual chemistry develops greatly through bonding activities. The activities include hobbies, interests, spending high quality time together. The more in common, the better. You like dancing, fancy dining, travelling, romantic movies, spiritual talks? He is the bar guy that never steps on the dancing floor, thinks fancy restaurants are for snobs, loves his couch more than seeing new places, is into horrors and thrillers rather than comedies and his level of spirituality can be summed up by “because the priest says so”? What do you have in common? Think about it.

There are many manuals trying to answer this question, I believe that you actually find out via EXPERIENCING him or her. Just go for it, let go, live it, enjoy and then take a snapshot and see if this is right for the moment. If it seems right continue, if everything seems right but there is also something that might be bothering you, give yourselves a chance…if he’s a “maybe” you don’t want him to go just like that and the great stuff you experience, however it is important to consider that the good is the biggest enemy of the best…